I am dying now, but I still have many things to say. I used to be at peace with myself. Quiet and at peace. But it all blew up unexpectedly ... My name is Sebastian Urrutia Lacroix. I am Chilean. My ancestors on my father's side came from the Basque country, or Euskadi, as it is now called. On my mother's side I hail from the gentle land of France, from a village whose name means Man on Earth or perhaps Standing Man, my French is failing me as the end draws near ... At the age of thirteen I heard God's call and decided to enter a seminary. My father was opposed to the idea. He was not absolutely inflexible, but he was opposed to the idea. I can still remember his shadow slipping from room to room in our house, as if it were the shadow of a weasel or an eel. And I can remember, I don't know how, but the fact is that I do remember my smile in the midst of the darkness, the smile of the child I was.