The Apologist

by Jay Rayner

You'll be really sorry if you do not read this book. You will have to make a deep act of contrition. How can you resist a book about relationships, chocolate and saying sorry on a grand scale? Read it, or you will be really, really, really so so sorry.


I took to patrolling the kitchen whenever she was cooking, like a prison guard watching for escapees. I couldn't help myself. I knew terrible things were happening to innocent ingredients and it was my duty to protect them.


Candide by Voltaire
Riotous Assembly by Tom Sharpe

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