Lost Empress by Sergio de la Pava

Lost Empress

Sergio de la Pava

Nina has inherited the failing American football team, the Paterson Pork but aided by her lovely new assistant Dia and her own uncompromising attitude she believes she can achieve the impossible. Nuno is incarcerated on Riker's Island and also planning his way out of a sticky situation, not least to find Dia, the love of his life. This brilliantly complex novel is well worth the effort just to see all the hilarious strands come together.

Extract

NINA
I see you have your usual phalanx of lawyers, Daniel. Well, this time you're going to need them. And I'm glad there's so many of them, because none of them looks individually capable of operating a toaster.
ANONYMOUS LAWYER #1
We didn't come here to be insulted, Mr Havisham.
NINA
Oh? Where do you usually go?
MR HAVISHAM
All right, let's get started. Ms Gill, can I assume you have no representation?
DANIEL
Of course not, see what I mean?…
NINA
How dare you? Really! My attorney is outside using the restroom ... As soon as she returns we can begin and not a moment before .…
She walks out into the reception area in desperation ... to see a young woman stepping through the aforementioned destruction to deliver greasy brown paper bags to the receptionist. Spotting the deliverer's Brown University sweatshirt she approaches it aggressively.
NINA
You attend Brown? ...
DIA (excited)
Yes! How'd you know?... I'm Dia.
NINA
I'm Brown too, class of unintelligible mumbling. Listen Dina, us Brownies have to stick together...You're my lawyer, beyond that don't be nosy ... let me do all the talking. Nina and Dia enter. The balance of power has swung.

Parallels
  • The Three Musketeers by Alexander Dumas
  • Fever Pitch by Nick Hornby
  • The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen