My Elvis Blackout by Simon Crump

My Elvis Blackout

Simon Crump

Like a blast of air these stories or brief episodes of an alternate, parallel Elvis Presley are sure to freshen up your reading. Laced with humour, blackly comic and fun they are often strange, twisted and riotous and make for a very different, exuberant read.

Elvis came out of the trailer, which served as his dressing room on the set of the movie, Live a Little (Drink a Lot). Chris de Burgh was waiting to see him, he'd been hanging around for ages, trying to get an autograph, and he was so happy to finally meet Elvis that the sad little man broke into song ...
'A spaceman came travelling, in his ship from afar – twas light years of time since his mission did start, and over a village he halted his craft and it hung in the sky like a star, just like a star.'
'That really was very poor,' Elvis said calmly. 'AM I SUPPOSED TO BE IMPRESSED BY THAT SHIT?' he screamed, then turned to me .... 'Execute this reedy-voiced, ferret-faced little bastard NOW!'
It was pretty soon after the time when Elvis had been abducted by aliens and he was still very touchy about the whole topic of intergalactic space travel.
He'd just been to see the film Chariots Of Fire. He thought it was an Erich von Däniken picture. One of Elvis' favourite books was von Däniken’s Chariots of the Gods and he'd hoped that the film version would help him come to terms with his own experience. When he'd realised that is was about a bunch of faggoty English guys running around on a beach he went completely berserk and burned out the theatre. Which reminds me, when I catch up with him, that Colin Welland dude is sure gonna be sorry.

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