Toploader by Ed O'Loughlin

Toploader

Ed O'Loughlin

This is an object lesson. Never lose a washing machine in a war-zone. Who knows what the assorted collection of criminals, spies, maniacs and journalists who inhabit this fictional country will think has happened. But they certainly won't guess the truth. And then you have to consider the exploding donkeys. A laugh aloud satire on a crazy world.

Extract

Smith shuffled his hands, miming a conjuring trick. 'Consider this scenario: the terrorists film a shot of some of their younger cadres, posing as children. Then they detonate a large concealed firework to create the first dust cloud. Then they shut off the camera, and rearrange their youth members - heavily made-up, or perhaps actually killed and mutilated by their own leaders, for extra verisimilitude - lying on the ground. Then they start the camera again and set off a second firework, so that when the dust clears the bodies are seen lying there, as if stricken by one of our missiles. Then, hey presto, all the terrorists have to do is edit the two dust clouds together, remove any footage that was shot between them, and they are left with what looks like the before and after of a missile strike.'
'Why, the dirty lying scum!'

Parallels
  • Riotous Assembly by Tom Sharpe
  • If You're Reading This I'm Already Dead by Andrew Nicoll
  • Scoop by Evelyn Waugh