Number Ten by Sue Townsend

Number Ten

Sue Townsend

Hilarious skit on today's Labour government. The Prime Minister, Edward Clare, needs to get to know the electorate better and sets off on a national tour of the low spots of Britain. His companion is Jack Spratt, the policeman who stands at the door of Number 10, and his disguise includes high heels and a blonde wig.

'Are you in business yourself, er ...?' asked Baker.
'Edwina,' volunteered the Prime Minister. 'No. I'm ...' there was a hesitation, and Jack wondered what the Prime Minister had decided upon. Before leaving Downing Street he had been unable to choose between civil servant, housewife or lecturer in politics.

'I'm an actress,' said the Prime Minister, and flicked a black curl out of his eye.

Baker said 'I knew I recognised you from somewhere. So what will I have seen you in?'

By the time the train drew into Waverley station in Edinburgh, the Prime Minister had constructed a complete acting career from an early struggle in rep to dining at the Ivy with Maggie Smith and going to garden centres with Judi Dench.

Jack was impressed with the Prime Minister's ability to throw himself so vigorously into his own fantasy and was only slightly alarmed when the Prime Minister said as they stepped off the train, 'Ah, Edinburgh at last. I won a Perrier Award here in 1982.'

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