Embarrass yourself. Be seen reading this in public by the vicar, or anyone for that matter. Unless you know that they are kinky, in which case, you are on to a winner. The clue is in the subtitle. And it lives up to its promise. So lie back and think of whatever you think about at such moments.
She stood at the end of the backless sofa and reached down to the hem of her white T-shirt. Two of the lanterns stood on a table to the right and so, when she pulled the shirt up to her belly button, I got a clear view of her wide hips and dense pubic hair.